Welcome To Liberaland |
A trip to the oddest Amusement Park in America |
You know it, I know it, the whole world knows it Liberals have no sense of Humor. They are always so serious. They never seem to be able to enjoy themselves. This is not a bunch you'd want to spend a warm summer's day with, is it? Can you imagine going to someplace like Disneyland or Coney Island with a busload of pinch-faced, mean spirited, and angry Liberals? They would try to change everything to have it fit in with their own doom and gloom, sourpuss view of Life. I can see it now. A bus filled with screeching Liberals pulls into the parking lot. Of course, the first order of business would be to demand that half of the lot be reserved for electric vehicles. The Liberals demand this even though they arrived in a 1969 GMC Diesel bus belching fumes like Teddy Kennedy at a family reunion. Once into "The Magic Kingdom" (uh oh, better change that to "The Magic Worker's Paradise") their nuttier than a "Payday" bar agenda would kick into high gear. They can't help it. They're wired that way. In a nod to their comrades at PETA the Liberals would attack the food concession stands and set free all of the hot dogs. They would then determine the Merry-Go-Round to be a breeding ground of inequity. It seems that only those kids who actually made the effort were successful in grabbing a brass ring. Their solution: take the brass rings away from those who have won them and redistribute the rings to the kids who never even tried to get one. Another triumph for Liberal justice rings throughout the land. Eventually, one of the Liberals will insist that the Merry-Go-Round be renamed the: "Mary-Will-Go-Round-Only-If-She-Damn-Well-Wants-To-Go-Round". Over at the shooting gallery only those people who display a total disregard for the rules and regulations will be allowed to play the game. Later in the day all of the guns will be confiscated anyway. Efforts will be made to unionize the Seven Dwarfs and to make their mine wheelchair accessible. There will be demands to add a new costumed character to those already walking through the Park a cute and cuddly Donna Shalala. Unfortunately, the only person who can be found who might squeeze into the costume is Ex-Clinton Secretary of the Treasury Robert Reich. Before the day is over our sweaty Liberal friends will add a new attraction for the bustling crowds to enjoy. Can you see the lines forming outside of "It's An Unfair World After All"? The catchy theme song is, sadly, sung to the tune of "The East Is Red" and the Liberals are the only ones singing. There is a rumor that Rosie O'Donnell might be taping her talk show at the Park today. To ensure the safety of her children the entire audience will be frisked while her armed bodyguard keeps his Glock trained on the crowd. We did hear that, unfortunately, a man was mugged over in "To Mao Land". The Liberals sprang into action and ejected him from the Park while giving his attacker a free season pass and a coupon good for the sexual favor of his choice, redeemable at any Federal building all summer long. It had to happen of course. For the children, it is announced that because 30,000 youngsters are killed each month while having fun, all rides are being shut down and the kids must now sit quietly, wearing helmets, seatbelts, and body armor while a Liberal tells them that they are having a good time. This would be the ideal Amusement Park for Liberals a place where nothing works, people go hungry, violence is rewarded, stupidity exalted, and nobody has any fun. Now that I think about it, isn't that the Liberal blueprint for the whole world as well? "Welcome to Liberaland"!!! |
