Corporate Economics And A Peek-A-Boo Teddy
			Another Sign That The World Is Going To Hell In A Handbasket
		I saw something in the newspaper the other day that made me laugh and also brought a tear to my eye.  It was a small article on an inside page detailing the woes of an American institution. Frederick's of Hollywood has filed for bankruptcy. For those who have been on hold for the last fifty years or so, Frederick's of Hollywood is, was, and perhaps will remain, a purveyor of the most unusual clothing this side of Barney Frank's closet.  Frederick's was the place you went when you just had to have that metallic super-duper pushup bra, stiletto heel thong sandals or something frilly and crotchless. For a good portion of the 20th century Frederick's was the only place to shop if you thought of yourself as a cross between  Jayne Mansfield and Big Bird.  Frederick's could out-Madonna Madonna.  The "Material Girl's" unmentionables might put your eye out, but Frederick's could blind everyone west of Duluth. Many people have said that Frederick's line of exotic and often strategically ventilated clothing is in poor taste.  It is not in poor taste.  It is in no taste whatsoever.  Except for those items advertised as "edible".  But even those only could supply your Minimum Daily Requirement of Red Dye #2 and food for some very naughty thoughts. The Frederick's of Hollywood store in Hollywood is a major tourist attraction.  There is always a small crowd in front of the place.  It is usually made up of some tourists from "Fly-over country" that stand outside the window and gawk.  The women stand there trying to figure out how you would put on most of those things, while the men are working on the other side of that problem. I visited the Frederick's of Hollywood Website recently.  I discovered that Frederick's also has a "Menswear Department". Honestly, how big is the market for men's briefs designed to look like a red elephant with a verrrrry long trunk?  A red elephant with a verrrrry long trunk that has an embedded microchip that plays "Old MacDonald Had A Farm".  Or men's briefs that resemble an alligator with a verrrrry long snout that plays "Love Me Tender".  Or a perky little rooster that proudly announces to the world (what else) "Cock-A-Doodle-Do". "Unplug the alarm clock, Martha!  I'm wearing my Rooster Shorts!"  I wonder if there is a snooze button? Frederick's has always had a loyal following among Drag Queens and assorted cross dressers.  Let's face it, there aren't many places where you can pick up a leopard skin chiffon peignoir in a 44 long with a matching feather boa.  Sears doesn't dance to that music. Most people have an image of Frederick's as being rather seedy  the kind of place where you wipe your feet on the way out.  The truth is that the majority of their 200 stores are in shopping malls across America, mixed right in there with Macys, Nordstrom, and, of course, Victoria's Secret. The superb marketing campaigns by stores like Victoria's Secret have contributed to the problems facing Frederick's.  There is the impression, valid or not, that Frederick's is smarmy while the competition is the epitome of suburban sexy.  As one woman said to me, "Men who shop at Victoria's Secret have girlfriends, but men who shop at Frederick's have sideburns and tattoos". If worse does come to worst and Frederick's closes it's doors, what sales there will be!  The saving will be fantastic. After all, judging by their models, everything in the catalog is already half-off. I do hope that Frederick's of Hollywood can survive.  It is truly unique.  It is one of a disappearing breed of roadside attractions alongside the very strange highway we are traveling down today.  Also, if it shuts down, some very talented and marginally twisted clothing designers are going to be looking for work at a Lane Bryant near you.  And that is something that none of us even wants to imagine. So, I lift a toast to Frederick's of Hollywood. "Here's looking at you kid, and I can't believe what I'm seeing."